about life, de world, and nothing in between
for now, just one story, below.
it’s pitch black dark.
the whole physical universe manifests itself every moment, every fraction of a second, after the world that gets recreated by each living being inside of it, who can grasp its real entirety.
the world gets created. de world.
from pitch black.
and everything and nothing you know around you have just popped from existence into reality.
a woman and a man sleep together.
he can only think about sex, all the time. typical man. men.
she fears that she might get seen only as an object, not as a person. and get lost in decades of oppression. slaves, black pepper, women.
she needs to work. to keep her good job. she needs to sleep. she works studying how everyone could get better lives, probably by finding new and better ways to work. she gets a poor, but fair enough, amount of money for that work. she needs to sleep to work. so many other things in her life need to get done… she can’t sleep thinking about it all?
and he can only think about sex. this man who she chose to sleep together. but he sleeps already. naked. she wished she could live that carefree… but she doesn’t want to get poor like him. without a job. living in a trailer in the woods. using money donated by family and herself. abusing his inner circle. sure, he makes some money on bitcoin, and save some money by living with very little… but that math can’t check out good. he needs the donations still! doesn’t he?
she needs to work. and sleep first. and do other things. can’t get work done…
needs to sleep…
he wakes up.
the world gets reduced.
it’s pitch black.
they lie down together.
can’t have sex right now. penetration only waste time. everything else should be fine, but penetration means sex, and that’s no good for work. and sleep. touching, caressing, breasts, butt, mouth, doesn’t matter. he can even touch the bellybutton while she sleeps. but touching the vagina, or even trying to remove the underwear will wake her up.
but she still didn’t even sleep! need to sleep.
they decide he will help her. he woke up, after all, and the sleeping tape doesn’t seem to help much her to sleep.
he can only think about sex. she just wants to sleep.
he also have work to do. unpaid. for 3 years now. how can he survived in society like this? he never had that much savings. donations. it have to be donations.
she just wants to sleep.
he helps her will come true. usually he can make her sleep, when she’s sleeps or awaken for too long, in less than 1 minute. doesn’t seem to matter much what he says, as long as the voice is constant and she feels safe, she just sleeps. deeply. and apparently gets completely unconscious.
this time it took him about 5 minutes. 5x longer. talking and arranging deals. no sex. just let her sleep. no mention of surrendering, no ordering to sleep even. just talk about anything else, relaxation, she’s anxious. talk about space, the universe perhaps.
it’s pitch black.
he continues to talk to her.
he wants, or wishes, to have her in his hands. and that she wants him in her hands in the same way. taking turns. she fears losing control. she fears him losing his mind. as she never let her mind loose… except for sleeping. with him talking or not, doesn’t matter. she’s too sleepy.
she continues to sleep.
he tell her to sleep.
to become his slave.
she doesn’t respond. except if he tries to touch the vagina or, god forbids, remove the underwear. she pulls it back up.
she only sleeps and react to no penetration sex.
he gives up, in frustration.
no sex it is.
most times, that’s the end.
no sex, she sleeps, he gets tired and sleep too.
the end of the day. death for the day.
but this time it was different.
in life, he now moves away from her once again. she agrees to increase their distance. she needs to work. to figure out her life. distance helps with these.
he found a happy place to work on. very difficult place. she doesn’t like it. too difficult.
he will move to another country. they will split up. once again, but much bigger this time. unique.
he don’t like to delay what needs to be done. she loves to linger. he loves her. she loves him.
it’s pitch black.
he goes to sleep.
in less than 2 seconds, her entire body shakes. she sleeps deeper than ever before on that night.
and he jumps in.
only a finger penetration.
nothing unique, but rare. perhaps once per year, in average, at most. 10 years.
he told her the story about life and the world, just moments ago, the last time she seemed to wake up due to all enslavement attempts. talking on her sleep. continuously asking for permission in one way or another. no sex.
this time it was uniquely meaningful in this sense.
a whole conversation in his head. this whole story. the world.
he thinks she wants the penis. for the first time, it doesn’t get hard while she deep sleeps with his finger inside her.
she needs to sleep, he can’t provide more or push more. confusion in his head. fear in hers.
he goes on to write this story.
(took him 1 hour, 1 thumb, 1 cellphone as usual, 1 sit, mostly unedited).